Updated: May 6
(Jizo, protector of unborn children, Japanese Buddhism)
While Mother's Day is meant to be a celebratory day for all the Mothers out there; for some of us, Mother's Day can bring relentless tears of grief and anguish.
So many Mothers give their all, each and every day. Your nurturing and loving ways are beyond measure, and you are definitely celebrated and honored. But this post is dedicated to honoring those experiencing an especially painful Mother's Day this year.
To those who cannot see your mother or children on this day due to the pandemic, illness, or another
reason, know that love pierces through any barrier and your pain and love are honored.
To those who have lost their mother and this day brings waves of heartache and loneliness; your
pain and love are honored.
To those who have estranged relationships and mourn the mother or relationship they did not get to
have; your pain and love are honored.
To those who've lost a grandmother, including the grandmother whose role was more that of a
mother; your pain and love are honored.
To all the women who have suffered in silence because you have not yet been able to conceive; your
pain and love are honored.
To those who have lost babies to miscarriages, ectopic pregnancies, still born, or in other ways; your
pain and love are felt and honored.
To the step mothers, aunts, and others who put love and energy into what you do to care for children,
without recognition; your love is noticed and honored.
To the mothers who have lost an older child; your unrelenting pain and never-ending love are
honored and. Please know you are not alone.
May all of you who mourn please treat yourselves gently with the rise and fall of the waves of grief this Mother's Day and beyond. Should the tidal wave of emotions knock you over with tumultuous power, please reach out to a professional so you can be accompanied by a companion on your journey with grief. It might be helpful to light a candle in your loved one's honor, or plant a tree, or garden to commemorate the enduring love and to continue your caregiving ways.
You don't have to suffer in silence any more. We grieve because we love. And love will always endure.
Please see the attached Mourner's Rights (Whole Pearson Associates, 2008) to remind you to give yourself compassion, time, and an abundance of grace this weekend and always.
- Article was updated May 6, 2021.
Teresa Jacobson is a Doctor of Behavioral Health and Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor Supervisor who is certified in Traumatic Grief Counseling, Anxiety & Telehealth. She can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org or (513) 206-3026.
Elson, A (2017). "The Japanese art of grieving a miscarriage". New York Times. Retrieved from
Whole Person Associates (2008). Mourner's rights. Retrieved from GriefWork Healing from Loss"